The curse of the Facebook update

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Apologies for not posting in a few days. Last week was bonkers as I was filling in for someone at work. It was time consuming and challenging, much like the modern-day curse that is updating your Facebook status. To the non-Facebookians, that's the option where you answer the question, What's on your mind? The aim is to let your friends know what you are doing or thinking. Most of the answers involve day-to-day stuff, like Joe is gone to bed or Beatrice is working. These are things you assume or, let's admit, couldn't really give an ant's arse about. But many people post fun or philosophical replies such as Do witches run spell checkers? or Dave thinks that politicians and diapers should be changed frequently and for the same reason. I'd like to run with this crowd and update with wit and wisdom. But whenever I intend to let people know what's on my mind, I'm unable to wax poetic with puns or pontifications. It seems I'm always thinking about one thing and one thing only. And, yes, I'm a typical man. What's on my mind begins with S. Sandwiches. The reason: I generally log onto Facebook before breakfast and supper, times when I'm hungry enough to eat the leg off a low-flying gull. So, if I truly said what's on my mind, it would be Steve wants a Sausage and Egg McMuffin, Steve is dreaming about a chicken pizziola sub on whole wheat from Subway, or Steve would murder a Baconator. Fearing friends (and Mom) would think I'm an absolute glutton, I don't provide constant updates about my hunger. Instead, I stare at the status question and pressure myself to think of something significant to say. Time is wasted, nothing comes to mind and my status remains idle. It rots me because, as someone who writes for a living, answering that freakin' question should be a cinch. Arrgh! Anyway enough on this status thing. Ive got to skedaddle. Whats on my mind right now? Steve is late for work.

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  • Lisa
    July 27, 2010 - 13:55

    What a boring article!