All right, you dirty rat

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It was a grotesque discovery on a gross winters morning. A flattened and frozen rat yes, a rat! on the car floor in front of the drivers seat. Judging from wifes reaction when given the news, its a good thing she didnt discover it. The rodent was put in a Sobeys bag and tossed in the trash. Then came the questions during the drive to work. Was it thrown there by a disgruntled reader? Was it a neighbour taking revenge for the Griswald-esque Christmas light pollution coming from our house? Did it come in off a boot or shoe? Is someone about to place a horse head in our bed (a colleague also suggested this)? Did it crawl in while recycling was being loaded a few days earlier? Ahhh...is its filthy brother or sister crawling under foot? At this very moment? This was followed by two-foot stomp that would make Michael Flatley jealous...call it the Ratverdance. There was soon a realization the answer of how it got in the car would likely never be known. It was just as well to move on, and not give a rats ass.

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  • Martha
    July 27, 2010 - 13:55

    I truly, truly believe you should hire a private detective!!! I would be amazed if your wife didn't create a new exit from your home. Yuuucccckkkkkk!