I recently got caught up in an hilarious time-waster — watching webcasts of Mount Pearl council meetings. "What are we going to do about that fence over there?" one councillor asked. "We'll send a full team from the engineering department over to see if it's too high and meets our rigid fence legislation," answered another. OK, Pearl people, just joking. The time-waster was in fact — and to no surprise — on Da Twitter. Tweeters were suggesting names of #CanadianActionMovies and #NewfoundlandActionMovies. Personal national favourites included The Toques of Hazard and Tim Horton Hears A Who. Closer to home, I laughed out loud at Desperately Seeking Susan Sullivan, and Butch Cassidy and Sundance Bouncer. After blowing far too many minutes contributing crap like Fisheries and Oceans 11, Lucky Number Sleeven, The Terry French Connection and Kung Fu Gander, I decided to conserve my last few drops of creativity for a column listing #NewfoundlandMovies titles. What follows is the world premiere of that list (don't ever say Uncle Stevie doesn't deliver value). But, first, please accept my apologies if you're a tweeter and you suggested one of these already. I didn't waste enough time to catch them all (and please ensure my boss and my wife know that). The list: The Four Muskrat-eers, starring Ed Martin, Gilbert Bennett, Kathy Dunderdale and introducing Jerome Kennedy The BAYTeam Yvonne Jones and The Project of Doom Blade: Trinity North Robin Short - Man in Tights Lord of the Outer Ring Blue Star Wars: The Empties Strike Back The Whitbourne Identity In the name of Darin King: A Fish Plant Siege Tale Silence of the Lambs Palm Breeze The Hearn Locker Dildo With a Shot Gun Men Who Stare at Boats The Grand Bank Job Mount Pearl Harbour (City worker discovers Power's Pond is actually salt water) FogoCop Black Horse Down The Salt Beef Bucket List The Sculpin King Doc Holyrood The Count of Monty's Esso. If you'd like to keep this going — and for the life of me I can't see why you wouldn't — email or tweet a Newfoundland and Labrador movie suggestion to me. And if you're wondering what happened to #CanadianActionMovies, it morphed/disintegrated into #CanadianPorn and jokes about Justin Bieber. I never followed any of that, of course. I hadn't yet watched Mount Pearl's latest webcast. Steve Bartlett will provide reader's weight loss suggestions for his fat cat in next week's column. Email him at sbartlett@thetelegram.com or find him on Twitter at bartlett_steve.
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