Children of the corn

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Good morning. Theres breaking news from a postage stamp-sized garden on the North East Avalon. The gardening tool who put the suck in the phonetic spelling un-suck-cess-ful has corn sprouting up. Steve (which may or may not be the tools real name) said its a husky deal because he has no luck getting anything to grow, including hair. I shouted CORN! he recalled, when asked his immediate reaction. The neighbours must have thought I shouted FORE because they all ducked. Steve said he was particularly cob-smacked by the corn because there had been no sign of the other things he sowed, even the cucumber. Im in a pickle over that one. That veggie has always sprung to life in Newfoundland, especially in nearby Mount Pearl, he said. He credited the budding cornucopia to the horse manure he dumped on the garden a few weeks ago. What a load of crap! he said. Steve said he wouldnt divulge the exact location of his corn because he feared stalkers. He said that come harvest time he planned to frolic like a farmer and shuck like a corn star. Asked what hed like to grow next, he simply responded, Up.

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