We waited in the obstetrician's office for more than an hour-and-a-half. The doc had been called to an emergency surgery or something, so we understood the delay and sat patiently. It was me and what seemed like 57,003 pregnant women, my wife included. Finally, it was our turn to go in an examination room. As we waited there, the doctor's assistant brought in a device I had never seen. My wife recognized it as an instrument for one of those tests. She assumed it was for her. I gulped. A few minutes later, the obstetrician entered and announced she would indeed be doing that test. I leaped up, Usain Bolt-ed out the door and was back in the waiting room before my wife could undo a button. In my absence, according to my wife, the conversation went like this: Doc (in guffaws): He's not planning on going into the delivery room, is he? Wife (shocked at my disappearing act and at seeing me move so fast): I thought so. For the record, I plan on being in the room for the full delivery. I'll let you know how long I last.
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