Double Down the hatch

I won’t give in and try a Double Down.

I won’t give in and try a Double Down.

I won’t give in and try a Double Down.

I won’t give in and try a Double Down ... Hopefully this Bart Simpson-esque blackboard approach works and I won’t cave to the constant taste temptation of the new KFC comestible.

Mmmm ... the Double Down. Two pieces of chicken, bacon, cheese, some sauce from the old Colonel (Yeeew!) and enough salt to keep Northeast Avalon's roads free of snow all winter.

It sounds gorge-ous (something worthy of gorging on, for those fortunate enough not to speak Stephenese).

But while it no doubt tastes terrific, the Double Down presents the potential for dietary disaster and I'm determined to stay the Kentucky Fried away.

And that, sadly, makes me feel as old and boring as Showcase’s new Friday night line-up.

Twenty, 15, even 10 years ago, it'd be double down the hatch because I didn't give a fiddler’s fork what was crammed in the old gob.

Things are different now. I'm bigger than a Metrobus thanks to past culinary crimes (and beer), and healthy eating has taken presedence over everything except my family and iPhone.

Still, the Colonel’s creation tantalizes and taunts, probably because I’ve resolved not to have one and every second commercial reminds us the Double Down is, UNLIKE Trooper, here for a good time and not a long time.

Hopefully, I can stay the course and avoid succumbing to this super sandwich’s seduction.

It’ll be awfully tough today though. I forgot lunch.

E-mail Steve Bartlett at sbartlett@thetelegram.com. Follow him on Twitter at @bartlett_steve.