I am wondering if perhaps someone can help me out with something.
Did any of you happen to see me out cold somewhere, looking terribly comfortable, likely snoring and drooling, and so sound asleep that you just didn’t have the heart to disturb me? And while being so polite as to not wake me, did you happen to notice how long I was out?
Didn’t that happen? Surely I slept solid, like a hibernating bear, for at least the past month or so? There can be no other explanation because this weekend past, not only did the clocks fall back, but November hit.
November — the month before Christmas people! The month when you start noticing keeners putting up holiday lights before the snow hits. The month when you actually start hearing Christmas music playing in shopping malls. The month when coffee shops switch to red cups.
Now, I was fine this summer when we saw Christmas ornaments and LED lights on display at our favourite warehouse department store. Shopping in shorts and tanks, looking at toy snowmen and reindeer was actually quite comical.
Now those reindeer mean business. Now those aisles have gift wrap and Christmas greeting cards as well. Now we are wearing warm sweaters, to my complete displeasure.
The sweater part, not the reindeer.
Now I know that time has always had a way of sneaking up, but this year in particular it seemed to just pounce and flatten us all together. It felt like one second we were getting our youngest son ready for a new school year, the next we were talking about snow tires.
I recall just yesterday looking longingly at our flower gardens, wishing the weeding fairy would pay a visit so the begonias weren’t completely choked out by wayward strawberry runners from an old patch we used to have. Just yesterday we enjoyed evening tea outside while marvelling at the height and rich green lushness of our maple trees.
Well, perhaps it wasn’t quite yesterday, after all. Now there is no sign of any colour in our gardens and those once beautiful maple trees each have about seven dried up, knarly leaves hanging on for dear life.
Two weeks ago I would have begged for all of this to slow down. But now that the clocks have gone back, now that we’re getting supper ready with house lights on because it’s pitch black outside, now that warm jackets are hanging in the front of the closet and shorts are buried in the back, I’m saying bring it on!
Don’t think for a second that I am looking forward to the turn of seasons.
Between the colours and smells, autumn certainly is beautiful. And yes, once a fresh layer of snow is down, I can appreciate that some consider it quite lovely. But my anticipation has absolutely nothing to do with either. Nope, I just want to embrace it with the hopes that I’ll blink and it’ll be over.
I think my strategy is going to work, I seriously do.
The holidays are coming up and there’s not a second’s doubt that we’ll be completely unprepared and panic-stricken as the big day approaches. But the upside on that means we’ll be that much closer to the turn of the New Year, that much closer to those horrific months of blizzards and power outages, consequently that much closer to a spring thaw.
See? Glass half-full … sort of.
So while this should not be misinterpreted as me summoning winter, it is me saying that, even without any thought of Christmas shopping, snow tires, or any inclination of where the heck my winter gloves could possibly be, I am ready.
Because one thing is for certain: I’ll be reaching for those shorts in the back of my closet before you know it, and when I do it’ll feel like I had just put them there. Time travel at its best, and worst.
Email Paula Tessier at email@example.com.