Does anyone have a private jet, a pilot and a drop of gas I can borrow for a couple of nights next week? Only for a short haul each time, St. John's to Halifax, return, two nights in a row.
Actually, the flights would be reversed, from Halifax to St. John's and back each evening. Too much to ask?
It is of the upmost importance. In fact if it doesn't happen I'll be quite sad, and likely exceptionally crooked for many months to come, and nobody wants that.
You see, because of wonky schedules all around, mine included, I am now scheduled to be out of town during games four and five of the Calder Cup finals, where our beloved IceCaps are battling for the cup.
I cannot believe it!
Of all the home games to miss, I am not going to be here for the potential time when our team hoists the cup in celebration on home ice. I am devastated!
My love of the game was solidified when I was a young’un watching the Oilers on a semi-snowy screen, a wire clothes hanger manipulated in the attic with more wire trailing to the large floor model television.
It was the closest we could get to high definition in those days. I've been addicted to the game ever since.
My love of our IceCaps was instant. For the past three seasons, if I missed a home game, it was for something monumentally important and that was rare. So here we are, at the big show, just us and them, and shockingly, I am going to miss it.
Is there a level past crushed when it comes to being a sports spectator and super fan?
How many games has our team played where the win was obvious well before the end if the game?
A good few, and I can always be found with a grin so wide you could feed me with a dustpan.
Then there are the nail biters where the game can go either way. During those matches, I usually end up nervously quiet, hardly able to blink for fear of missing something. Hubby always takes advantage of situations like that to enhance my nervousness by saying something like, "What if this were the Calder Cup finals, it was Game 7, with three minutes left? What would you do?"
The concept of that idea would instantly cause my stomach to flip completely over and I'd have to insist, in my own unique way of course, that he should probably not say such things to me. My colour must visibly change and my heart beat must be audible at the idea, because he delights in my reaction just a little too much.
So, here we are, with that the cup in sight, right there, just four wins away. My ultimate hockey dream. How many times during this year's playoffs did we honestly think about this final series, the idea of not only making it, but winning the works? A lot!
What kind of euphoria for our hockey fanatics? What kind of celebrations would ensue? And never once, in all of those wishful conversations, was either of us out of town.
I mean, what are the chances? I am scheduled to be gone only for two nights.
How flukey could it be that those exact nights are the two nights that our guys are on home ice for the last time this season? Not sure if I should buy a lottery ticket or a box of tissues.
So, now you see the reason for my private jet request.
I am travelling for work so justifiably will be busy during business hours, but if there were an aircraft waiting and ready, I could get back home in time for the drop of the puck.
Sure, I'd be pretty sleepy the days following, needing to get back to Halifax after the game and hopeful celebration, but for our IceCaps, it would be well worth it.
Email Paula Tessier