The jaws that bite, the claws that catch

Peter
Peter Jackson
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Many (seals) have yet to take their first swim or eat their first solid meal when they are killed.

- Humane Society of the United States website

"Wait up, Mommy. You're going too fast."

"Use your flippers, son. You can do it."

Many (seals) have yet to take their first swim or eat their first solid meal when they are killed.

- Humane Society of the United States website

"Wait up, Mommy. You're going too fast."

"Use your flippers, son. You can do it."

"Mommy, can I go swimming? It looks like fun!"

"No, my little blubjub, you're too young."

"But I can do it."

"No, it is too dangerous. You might drown or you might get lost. I want you to grow up to be a big, strong harp. You can swim all you want, then. You could even go to college and join a swim team."

"Mommy, why do you always look so worried."

"The world is a cruel place, little one. There are creatures out there that do terrible things."

"What creatures, Mommy?"

"Beware the Gluttonor Jabberal, my son."

"What's a gubber jabber?"

"The Gluttonor Jabberal has a big, burbling face and piercing eyes that will turn your blood to ice."

"You're scaring me, Mommy."

"Our protector, Good Captain Watson, is the only one who has seen the Gluttonor Jabberal face to face. He says she is the very image of a Borneo cannibal queen, without the bone in her nose. Captain Watson says she comes from Haiti, where children are sold on the street and cookies for toddlers are made from mud."

"Cookies from mud? Yech! But what will the Gluttonor Jabberal do with me if she catches me, Mommy?"

"She will cut out your heart and eat it raw."

"She's really mean!"

"Yes, my child. And that's why you must never go off by yourself until you are old enough."

"I won't. I promise. Mommy?

"Yes, dear?"

"Why would anyone want to eat us?"

"Because they have lost their way, son. People are not supposed to eat animals. They're not supposed to wear animal skins. They should wear Gortex and plastics and other ecologically sound materials. They should live in big, concrete jungles with air conditioning and dry-cleaning service. And they should all be vegetarians, like our good captain. He only eats vegetables."

"Mommy, what's a vegetable?

"I'm not sure, darling."

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

"Well, I've got a treat for you today, dear. Since you are now more than 25 days old, I'm going to give you your first solid meal."

"Yippee!"

"Here it is, son."

"Eeek! What's that?"

"It's a fish, boy."

"But it's slippery and slimy. And it's still alive!"

"Just shut up and eat it, son."

"But shouldn't we eat vegetables, like Good Captain ..."

"The captain is a loon, son. He's one gaffe short of a seal hunt. Now be a good boy, and eat your raw fish. Fairy tale time is over."

Peter Jackson is The Telegram's editorial page editor. He can be contacted by e-mail at pjackson@nl.rogers.com.

Organizations: Humane Society of the United States, The Telegram

Geographic location: Borneo, Haiti

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Recent comments

  • shirley
    July 02, 2010 - 13:22

    I believe that people who say the seal hunt should be stopped haven't all the knowledge of the matter. So unless your brains are loaded please don't shoot off at he mouth. Our heritage will never come back again if the seals are not done away with. People surviving are more important that seals. but it seems that people are not important enough in your life if you chose the seals over human life

  • Another Dave
    July 02, 2010 - 13:12

    The seal protest is about money. The organizations that make all the noise about the seal hunt are in fact corporations, who lead the easily lead.
    I have posted this link before and will continue to do so. It is an interview with Patrick Watson by Barbara Frum on CBC radio many years back. It shows where Patrick Watson's true interests lie, as well as the other companies that snare the armchsir activists.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_gTBDFTXE0

    The truth is out there...

  • shirley
    July 01, 2010 - 20:06

    I believe that people who say the seal hunt should be stopped haven't all the knowledge of the matter. So unless your brains are loaded please don't shoot off at he mouth. Our heritage will never come back again if the seals are not done away with. People surviving are more important that seals. but it seems that people are not important enough in your life if you chose the seals over human life

  • Another Dave
    July 01, 2010 - 19:49

    The seal protest is about money. The organizations that make all the noise about the seal hunt are in fact corporations, who lead the easily lead.
    I have posted this link before and will continue to do so. It is an interview with Patrick Watson by Barbara Frum on CBC radio many years back. It shows where Patrick Watson's true interests lie, as well as the other companies that snare the armchsir activists.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_gTBDFTXE0

    The truth is out there...