As September's municipal election looms like a heavy bank of fog outside The Narrows, I applaud the St. John's Board of Trade for trying to gauge the opinions of would-be members of St. John's council - incumbents who are hoping for re-election as well as a crop of newbies.
But really, as some Memorial University administrators used to be fond of saying of faculty, it's a little like herding cats.
In the case of the council hopefuls, they're madly off in all directions, tails in the air, yowling animatedly but sometimes actually saying very little.
The board of trade tried to home in on issues that are key to the capital city; motherhood stuff, really, like water consumption and conservation, long-term vision and planning, the importance of public consultation - by asking council candidates to respond to survey questions.
Astonishingly, two candidates - Ward 5 incumbent Wally Collins and newcomer Sheilagh O'Leary - didn't even bother to take part. (What does that tell you, folks?)
Thankfully, all the others did think the questions were important enough to warrant a response, though some of their answers, God bless 'em, might leave you scratching your head.
Why, I can't make hide nor hair out of what some of them are trying to tell us. (What is it Lassie? Is little Timmy down the well?)
Here's a hint for aspiring politicians: sometimes the five-cent word says a lot more than the one that cost you a toonie.
And perhaps the best way of exploring how candidates feel about key issues is to read their survey responses as poetry ...
(The words are all theirs; the titles are mine).
Change is good, I think
By Debbie Hanlon
A plan is something
that can change
with changing circumstances.
However, change
should be by exception
and not a regular occurrence.
It's all up here, folks
By Dennis (call me Kreskin) O'Keefe
Any town or city
needs a vision.
A mental vision
of where your community
should be
10 to 15 years
from now.
Goals have to be set
and time is needed
to reach these goals.
I should've been an optometrist
By Steve Manuel
I am in favour
of a long-term vision
but we have to keep in mind
that visions can be changed,
we have to be flexible.
All plans tend to change.
The future is as clear as mud
By Bernard Davis
Long-term visioning
is the only way
to ensure
that residential and business needs
are being exceeded.
With solid visioning
our city can better manage
the great economic growth
that we are experiencing
for the betterment
of all individuals involved.
Worth saying twice
By Todd Perrin
Changes to this plan
and the guidelines therein
should not be done lightly
and there should be
serious deliberations
before opening up the plan
to any such changes.
I can see it now
By Keith Coombs
This wave of prosperity
will arrive
sooner rather than later.
We must prepare
for the immediate future
with a view
to the long term.
Like, duh!
By Debbie Hanlon
Long term could
and maybe should
be "forever"
and there be a review
after 10 years
which may or may not
produce significant change.
Plan change must be based
on significantly changed circumstances.
Say what?
By Shannie Duff
An effective visioning process
must be inclusive
and undertaken
in a creative
and professional manner.
It will take time and resources
but can be a very effective
and exciting process
for building bridges
between constituencies
and re-engaging the community
in the future of our city.
So, there you have it folks!
Thanks to all candidates who participated.
And thanks, most of all, to the St. John's Board of Trade, for having the tenacity to get council candidates to take a categorical stand on the issues that matter.
Now it's official - we've got them firmly on the record.
Let's see them even try and wriggle out of this.
Unless, of course, all that long-term visioning leads to unforeseen but significantly changed circumstances that could not be avoided in the absence of a flexible plan.
Pam Frampton is The Telegram's story editor. She can be reached by e-mail at pframpton@thetelegram.com. Read her columns online at www.thetelegram.com or read more found poems at http://www.bot.nf.ca.
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