In a way, I’m unguardedly happy and relieved that the Conservative Party of Canada finally forged the majority they so desperately coveted.
It was like a mammoth release of tension: the final burst of a bloom delayed by harsh spring weather, or the glorious emancipation from pain and pressure yielded by an overdue bodily function.
Now, at long last, Canadians will know the full breadth of Stephen Harper’s great vision, untethered by the pesky restraints of Parliamentary custom.
I was pleased to discover that one William Pritchett of St. John’s also eagerly anticipates this great triumph of democracy.
“On May 2, Canadian voters have a chance to rectify a great wrong that was inflicted by the many on the few over two years ago,” Pritchett wrote in a letter to The Telegram which, regrettably, did not make it into print before the day came and went.
Pritchett is referring to the 62 per cent of Canadians who, in the 2008 federal election, did not expect to elect a government member, nor even the MP they were voting for.
“Yet those 62 per cent voted against the man in the nice sweater,” wrote Pritchett.
This unwillingness to hop aboard the bandwagon can and did lead to “frighteningly undemocratic situations,” he wrote.
“Government cabinet ministers can be forced to use valuable energy and time answering questions and explaining decisions instead of governing as they were elected to do.”
In short, the 38 per cent who clearly desired stable government are undermined by this chaos-
Pritchett hoped for greater minority support for the divinely appointed. He was slightly under the mark.
“Let’s hope that a little more risk explanation (mistakenly referred to as fear-mongering) and constituency opportunism (mistakenly referred to as first to the trough) can shrink the number of purveyors of undemocratic consequences to 57 or 56 per cent,” he wrote, without knowing the tally of nihilist non-compliance would only drop to 60 per cent.
“This will allow the 43 to 44 per cent” — in fact, 40 per cent — “to give us a truly democratic majority government that can focus on the job at hand.”
And the happy conclusion?
“The whole country should then breathe a collective sigh of relief as the few who see the light can bring democratic government to the many who know no better. The (majority) will then be properly silenced and unable to obstruct.”
Couldn’t have said it better (or more sarcastically) myself.
As for me, I’ll be interested to see how many deep-rooted social policies bubble to the surface, now that they’re unhindered by the oppressive forces of tolerance, rights and human decency.
No longer will those righteous pillars within Harper’s team have to muzzle their freely held thoughts about abortion, gays, immigrants, single-parent families and artsy-fartsy siphoners of the public purse.
No more hidden agenda. Can you believe it? What have they got to hide, now that they can do what they want? The agenda — carved into stone tablets, I imagine — can finally be carted into the House of Commons on its velvet-lined cradle.
First and foremost on that sacred script will be the fundamental tenet of Tory rule: “Thou shalt not have any other coalitions before me.”
In fact, there’s probably something in there about being jealous and punishing children for the iniquity of their parents.
Ah, but these things don’t really matter, do they? We probably won’t hear much about them anyway, now that the media will finally be put out of their misery.
No more nosy reporters whining about trivial matters such as public policy and ethics. Herd them into a corral with their notebooks and gadgetry, but don’t let them ask any questions. As it is, that’s only a baby step away from the status quo.
Questions? You want answers to your questions? You, my friends, are seriously deluded. Let the divine right of rule commence.
Peter Jackson is The Telegram’s
commentary editor. He can be contacted by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.