- Colin Burke
- September 07, 2012 - 16:19
One reason parents usually have not the skills of teachers and daycare workers is that these skills cannot be taught in ordinary schools to the ordinary children who will later become parents. That would simply give the game away: ordinary young people who realize they are being psychologically controlled to "behave better" and are taught how that control is exercised will ordinarily rebel then most rebelliously. What is wrong with using punishment to manage behaviour is that that is not the purpose of punishment: punishment ought to teach justice, not to "get results" in "improving conduct." Ordinary parents could teach the requirements of justice quite well once they were allowed to realize these, perhaps as a result of not having been educated in neglect of essential truths like people's deserving the effects of what they do.
- September 07, 2012 - 12:23
For the most part, children in the 2 to 12 age group behave better in school and in day cares than they do at home. Partly, they feel a certain comfort in their own home - mom and dad will love them no matter how badly they behave. Another part is peer pressure - other children are behaving well, so they must follow suit or fear the disapproval of their peers. Still another part is that day care workers and teachers have developed dozens of ways to say No and redirect youthful energies. Another piece of the puzzle is that parents lack the training and experience of teachers and day care workers. We are dealing with at most four children and continually make mistakes. Some examples: We are not clear in our speech ("Clean your room" lacks the clarity of "Please pick up your pyjamas and put them in the laundry hamper."); we get distracted (who hasn't answered the phone and within two minutes realized both the dog and the child are locked in the bathroom with the water running?); etc. Smacking a child doesn't add to their comprehension. It adds to their fear. (Don't confuse 'fear' with 'respect'. One drives the child away; the other encourages them to mimic your good behavior.) Brian, I completely agree this law needs to be 'smacked down'. However I add that it should be replaced with mandatory child-rearing lessons before potential parents can reproduce.
- September 07, 2012 - 15:13
You're right Kathy on the behaviour at preschool and home. Just go to Costco or any supermarket and see the parent and kids. They don't know what RESPECT is or means. Parents fault! Brian says: 'you raise a brat, deal with it". Sounds logical but it won't happen now if it wasn't done when they should have been diciplined. Somebody getting knockedd-up in a frenzy hardly makes them qualified to raise a child.
- Colin Burke
- September 07, 2012 - 10:11
One important lesson spanking can be used to convey is that doing wrong is a worse thing than feeling pain. Another is that "correction" ought to "replicate" feelings that we ought to have, but often don't, about doing what we know to be wrong. That toddlers cannot comprehend such ideas ought not to prevent us from trying to convey them as early as possible so that the kids begin to comprehend them as soon as possible.
- September 07, 2012 - 09:12
Do you have children?