10 short found poems about Muskrat Falls

Pam
Pam Frampton
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Conservative MHAs wax lyrical about the promise of hydroelectricity

(Columnist’s note: I wish more people could get out to the House of Assembly to hear our MHAs in full oratorical flights of fancy, or even snuggle up at home with a blanket and some cocoa and read the proceedings in Hansard.

On Monday, Conservative MHAs used nearly 28,000 words to sing the praises of that Most Done of all Done Deals, Muskrat Falls, and to hail the tenacity, perseverance, intestinal fortitude, vision, stamina, determination, steadfastness and genius of our saviour — er, premier.

There were far too many words to reprint here, so I’ve taken the liberty of compiling the highlights — some of the more persuasive, poignant and poetical moments, as MHAs touched on everything from simpler ways of life in the past, environmental catastrophes, the political machinations that led to there being no special debate on Muskrat Falls, and their hopes for the future. The poem titles are mine, but the words are all theirs.

Enjoy, dear readers.)

The Way Things Used to Be

By Kevin Parsons

We were all in one room

watching a TV.

That is the way

we grew up;

we all watched Maxwell Smart,

and then we watched the news,

and then we watched Hogan’s Heroes,

Truth or Consequences,

Three’s Company.

There were all kinds,

that was it;

we all watched it.

What Honourable Members Do

By Sandy Collins

Of course we do our job

each and every day,

most of us.

We get up

and we debate different things,

we talk about different things,

and we discuss different things.

You can call it whatever you want,

you can call it a discussion,

you can call it a debate,

but whatever the case is

we are standing here

and we are putting forward

our thoughts

where we think

we should be going.

Holyrood Horror Story

By Kevin Parsons

Mr. Speaker,

we have to look

at what is happening

out in Holyrood.

I saw a newscast on

a little while ago.

A lady was on CBC;

they were showing the dust

and the soot

on the side of her house

and on the side of her car.

She took her finger

and she wiped it off.

Holyrood is Worse than Caplin

By Sandy Collins

I remember back in the day,

waking up in the morning

and the fish plant

down the road

would be processing caplin;

I would wake up

to the smell of caplin.

God, was that ever terrible,

but it never hurt our health.

If it got on your clothes

and you tried to get a date,

it could hurt your chances.

Just think about that

small comparison.

Listen to the Polls —

Don’t Listen to the Polls:

An MHA’s Dilemma

By David Brazil

Mr. Speaker,

if we just examine

the latest polls,

we can feel confident

that the people of this Province

are behind us

in moving this project forward.

On a daily basis,

they keep telling us:

Do it, it needs to be done,

move it forward.

You have done all your homework,

you have done a great job on it,

we are convinced,

let’s make it work.

Mr. Speaker,

we do not govern by polls.

We want to know

what the people really think.

Prescription for Success

By Calvin Peach

Mr. Speaker,

I was talking

to some people

the other day

at a function.

There were a couple of lawyers there

and there were a couple of doctors there.

One of the doctors

said to me

that anybody who does not support this project,

they should make an appointment

with him.

That was one of the doctors.

That was what one of the doctors

said to me.

You Just Can’t Handle the Facts

By Tom Hedderson

Who vetoed the debate?

Who vetoed it?

Mr. Speaker, who vetoed it?

Oh, bring in experts.

I say to the members opposite:

We have presented to you the facts,

as the previous member

just got up and said,

but you cannot handle the facts.

You cannot handle them.

You just cannot handle it.

Muskrat Rap

By Kevin Parsons

Our demand has risen.

Our habits have changed,

times have changed.

Like I said

about burning wood,

at one time

as you drove through

everybody had a stack

of wood

on the side of their house.

That is what they did,

everybody burned wood.

We do not see that today.

Young people today

do not have time for it.

The electric fireplace

is a nice thing to watch.

You can go in and watch

an electric fireplace.

It does not throw off

a whole lot of heat anyway.

Have You Seen It?

By Sandy Collins

It is going to spell huge benefits

for the people of the Province.

We see it,

they see it,

Dean MacDonald has seen it,

Bob Rae has seen it,

Justin Trudeau has seen it,

Thomas Mulcair has seen it,

Jack Layton seen it,

the Member for Cartwright–

L’Anse au Clair sees it,

we all see it,

everybody sees it.

I am not trying to sell something

that nobody sees.

Ode to the Future

By Kevin Parsons

Mr. Speaker,

like I said,

this is an opportunity

to really get up

and express myself

and what I feel

about Muskrat Falls.

I look at Muskrat Falls

and there is one main reason

that I think that we have to do

Muskrat Falls,

and one of the main reasons

I am here:

I look to the future.

I always look to the children

and the grandchildren — the grandchildren

who I hope to have some day.

I want to be called Poppy Parsons,

like Poppy Pollard,

someday,

here

in the House of Assembly.

Pam Frampton is a columnist and

The Telegram’s associate managing editor. She can be reached by email at pframpton@thetelegram.com.

Twitter: pam_frampton

Organizations: CBC

Geographic location: Muskrat Falls, Holyrood

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Recent comments

  • Peter II
    December 12, 2012 - 18:41

    The only thing missing is some suggestions for soundtracks – if the poets become lyrical? However, it brings to mind how way off base such discussions have become. When I read this column in the Weekend Print Edition, I then moved to the Auto Sales flyers. One Mfg. was offering great discounts – they listed the sale price and bi-weekly payments at an interest rate. In the fine print they also listed the “Cost of Borrowing” – simply 26 times the payments times the number of years of financing. Unlike mega-project financing where they use “Combined Present Worth” algorithms. But what would be customer reactions if auto dealers only told you the Present Worth (at some unspecified “cost of capital” rate) of payments? Hmmmmm….? A friend was telling me about the book about Steve Jobs that he was reading. What made Apple so great The two Steves, for sure – at least? One thing that I read and often overlooked was the hardware/software perspective. Specifically Apple originally was making “Kit Computers” for hobby electronics buffs. Then they introduced Visicalc – simple spreadsheet software. This was seized upon by individuals, businesses big and small. Computer Accounting without the mainframe time shares!! Soon IBM and the PC hardware linked up with Lotus 123 to compete. The rest as they say is history – I suppose. Not videos, not games, not blogs but Accounting Utilities precipitated the boom in Personal Computing ?? Why then does not anyone seem to want to enter the Muskrat Falls basic fiscal on their Excel, or Quattro Pro grids with @Financial Functions. Six Billion, capital cost, 7.5 billion CPW at ?% ‘s. But what is in that fine print – “cost of borrowing”……. What are the bi-weekly payments for the project over 50 years at even 6%? Paycheck to paycheck…..

  • Rupert
    December 10, 2012 - 00:57

    If you think you wasted five minutes, imagine how much time was wasted in the House with all of this blithering.

  • Jay Person
    December 08, 2012 - 11:28

    I enjoyed the poems, and I agree with the sentiment expressed in the preamble about going to the House of Assembly to see is all live. He wasn't on your list, so I thought I'd add one of my favorite Jerome Kennedy quotes from way back in 2008 during a debate on a bill to change the access to information act. The first part of the tirade is directed at Lorraine Michael: "What it is, Mr. Speaker, is a lack and, I would suggest, a fatal lack, of understanding how government works – but how would she know how government works? She sits there by herself. She has no one to consult with. I haven't heard her complain about resources. Apparently, she must have enough. So, she sees shadows; she sees ghosts where ghosts don't exist. This is very straightforward. The Opposition House Leader, however, I would take issue with his comments because he should know better, Mr. Speaker. Being legally trained, I am assuming he practiced law. Well, he did practice law. I should say I don't know how well he practiced law. In any event, Mr. Speaker, when you look at the interpretation of a statute, how that Opposition House Leader can stand in this Legislature today, how he can stand here today and make these kinds of comments is beyond me, but I guess what it is, is politics. I guess what it is, is feeding into the media with their front-page stories on Saturday. I guess what it is, Mr. Speaker, is feeding into their political agenda, that we are not open and accountable." http://www.assembly.nl.ca/business/hansard/ga46session1/08-12-11.htm

  • Jay Person
    December 08, 2012 - 11:07

    I enjoyed the poems, and I agree with the sentiment expressed in the preamble about going to the House of Assembly to see is all live. He wasn't on your list, so I thought I'd add one of my favorite Jerome Kennedy quotes from way back in 2008 during a debate on a bill to change the access to information act. The first part of the tirade is directed at Lorraine Michael: "What it is, Mr. Speaker, is a lack and, I would suggest, a fatal lack, of understanding how government works – but how would she know how government works? She sits there by herself. She has no one to consult with. I haven't heard her complain about resources. Apparently, she must have enough. So, she sees shadows; she sees ghosts where ghosts don't exist. This is very straightforward. The Opposition House Leader, however, I would take issue with his comments because he should know better, Mr. Speaker. Being legally trained, I am assuming he practiced law. Well, he did practice law. I should say I don't know how well he practiced law. In any event, Mr. Speaker, when you look at the interpretation of a statute, how that Opposition House Leader can stand in this Legislature today, how he can stand here today and make these kinds of comments is beyond me, but I guess what it is, is politics. I guess what it is, is feeding into the media with their front-page stories on Saturday. I guess what it is, Mr. Speaker, is feeding into their political agenda, that we are not open and accountable." http://www.assembly.nl.ca/business/hansard/ga46session1/08-12-11.htm

  • Me
    December 08, 2012 - 10:04

    This is the most awesome, laugh out loud poetry I have ever read. Conversely, it is the saddest, most pathetic excuse for debate in the House of Assembly I have ever read.

  • Maurice E. Adams
    December 08, 2012 - 09:04

    The depth of the analysis demonstrated by our MHAs is astounding. They have truly been working hard making sure that the best interest of their constituents and the province as a whole has been looked after...... Now where's that damned oil truck?

  • John Smith
    December 08, 2012 - 08:39

    I feel like I just wasted 5 minutes of my life...another waste of space by Ms. Frampton....to think of how this space could have been utilized....Telegram at the level of a high school paper...shame...

    • Sheldon Walsh
      December 08, 2012 - 11:01

      I think you can blame the MHA's for the waste of space and high school antics. Didn't realize you were forced to read it. Do you waste "minutes" of your life by spewing your talking points on every Muskrat Falls article ever written under the sun? No I forgot, it's not a waste when you get paid for it

    • Bob
      December 10, 2012 - 18:38

      Forgive him not Father, for he knows exactly what he's doing.