Cheers: to a job well done.
Royal Newfoundland Constabulary Police Chief Robert Johnston has only 11 days left before his official retirement, so this is as good a time as ever to point out that, under his watch and as he rose through the senior ranks of the RNC, the Constabulary has undergone one of the most impressive courses of professionalization seen in modern Canadian policing. From moving to training provided in the province through Memorial University to a huge expansion of facilities and equipment, Johnston is leaving the force far better than he found it. This is a very different RNC than the one Johnston started in. Let’s hope the new chief is every bit as skilled.
Cheers: to the brave new Internet world. Remember the old days, when a half-hour television show ran for 22 minutes with eight minutes of advertising? Well, in the web world, things are so much better — not. Earlier this week, you could watch a local CBC News item that ran two minutes and 21 seconds — except you had to watch a minute and 31 seconds of advertising first. That’s roughly equal to a minute of advertising for every one and a half minutes of news item — or, for a half-hour of viewing, 12 minutes of ads. Lovely how the world has progressed.
Jeers: to the predictable. Write a story about conditions at Her Majesty’s Penitentiary, and just wait for the Cro-Magnon comments to start flowing in. “Let them all kill each other,” “Why are we making a hotel for killers, druggies and thieves?” and on and on it goes. What’s next? Shall we set up stocks and sell rotten vegetables to throw? How exactly are horrible conditions supposed to rehabilitate anyone, or keep guards and other staff safe? Here’s a strange thought: what kind of country would we live in if Internet trolls actually formed our government or could put their decisions in place? Hint: it wouldn’t be a democracy. Smearocracy, maybe.
Cheers: to the word of the day. “My, isn’t it astounding what a fine glabella he boasts.” “Can you believe her glabella? You can’t tell me she didn’t have work done.” You can’t trust him — every time he talks, his glabella wrinkles.” So here’s the $65,000 question — what’s a glabella? In fact, it’s the little dip over the top of your nose. In many people, it’s better described as the valley between your eyebrows. Why? Just because we wanted to use the word.
Jeers: to the snow circus. Friday was every bit as much of a gong show as, well, every other snowstorm this winter. Here are the facts: if you’re going to drive in the snow, you have to have the proper equipment and tires, clear all your windows and hood of snow, and stop driving like it was August. The speed limit is the maximum for the best conditions. Roads are slippery: how many storms do you have to experience before that simple fact sinks in?