Jeers: to when acronyms proliferate.
Here’s a snippet from a British Appeal Court decision, citing a parole report for a murderer looking to be released after more than 30 years in prison: “Following receipt of the Good Lives post programme report, you will be referred to the next Risk Management Group Multi-Disciplinary Progression Management Group (RMGMDPMG) for consideration of your suitability for transfer to top end conditions. If the RMGMDPMG decide that you are ready to move to top end conditions a Prisoner Progression Assessment (PPA) would be prepared. Once completed the PPA would be discussed at the RMGMDPMG and if approved preparations would be made for you to transfer to top end conditions. It is anticipated that following approval it would take 4 to 6 months for you to transfer.”
Cheers: to naming and shaming. In the Weekend Telegram we ran the second letter in a week about the abuse of blue-zone parking spaces by people with no disabilities — other than a critical lack of understanding of the needs of others. Maybe this is the start of a good thing. The more we point out the ignorant among us, the more likely they are to, perhaps, park somewhere else and walk 40 or 50 feet to the mall or the grocery store. Fire lanes and zones for the disabled are precisely that — they’re not holding zones for those who couldn’t be bothered to play by the rules.
Cheers: to good advice. If you decide to totally lose it, don’t it on an airplane. Because if you do, it’s going to cost you. Have a total hissy-fit in a grocery store and you might end up on the pavement out front without your groceries — and if you’re nasty enough, a mischief charge that will make for a remarkably embarrassing day in court. On a plane? Get your wallet out. Derek Olsen is a passenger who got an American Airlines flight diverted to Gander after he refused to sit down during turbulence and had to be restrained. The damage? Well, first two airline seats — and then Olsen’s wallet. Almost US$48,000 to the airline to offset the costs of its sudden landing in Gander, and a $10,000 fine. Expensive bill. And he’s far from the only one: disturbances on airlines will cost you big time, every time.
Jeers: to wasting everybody’s time. So, just what were the RNC thinking with this one? Hold a news conference to announce that there was a peculiar break-in Kilbride — “We’re saying that the break-and-enter itself is believed to be sexual in nature.” — and then flatly refuse to say anything else about the case. There’s absolutely no doubt that the news conference will do a lot to raise people’s concerns, but the fact is, it’s not even clear what it is the police are concerned about. All in all, it’s kind of like that old comedy skit: “Here are a few partial scores from the NHL — Chicago, 5.” It’s a penetrating insight into not very much at all.