Cheers & Jeers

The Telegram
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Cheers: to budget hyperbole. Someone somewhere once described the love of money as the root of all evil. ( OK, it was the Bible, 1 Timothy 6:10: “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”)

Turns out, though, it’s not that at all — at least not according to the MHA for Baie Verte-Springdale, Kevin Pollard. Here’s the MHA in the budget debate: “Picture this for a moment: a strong, vibrant, healthy heart pumps blood and, therefore, oxygen throughout the body to all parts of the body, to arteries, veins, capillaries, tissues, organ systems, enabling the body to perform as a whole, a complete unit, Mr. Speaker. No heart; no growth. No heart; no life. No heart; no oxygen. No heart; you have an empty, lifeless shell with no function and no purpose in life. So, Mr. Speaker, I liken Budget 2014 to the human heart, biologically speaking. Just as the heart sustains life and supplies the life-giving blood to the body and oxygen, Budget 2014 supplies that essential funding to communities, to groups, to individuals, and to the economy, and to people who are in desperate need.” Yes, money. The thing that gives purpose to life.

Cheers: to putting the budget debate in perspective. Every year, the opposition hates the budget, and every year, the government spends hours patting itself on the back about what a fantastic, splendid, wonderful job it has done. But do people really care enough to listen? We leave the answer to that question to Lewisporte MHA Wade Verge: “I could say thank you to those who are watching on the network on their home televisions. I did message one of my friends a little while ago to tell him I was going to be getting up to speak. He messaged me back and said he would watch, but ‘Family Feud’ is on.” A debate so exciting even your friends won’t watch? Exactly.

Cheers: to solving unanswered questions. For years, it’s been clear that humans need to have answers: just look at the fact that Internet traffic on our site spiked after a Page 3 story reported on a guest speaker at Memorial University who argued that there’s a larger conspiracy behind the collapse of the World Trade Center in New York. And then there’s missing Malaysian Airlines flight MH370. Friday, there was this from the National Post: “Malaysian police have expanded an investigation into the missing plane to include ground crew, caterers and the farmers who picked four tons of mangosteens, a tropical fruit, that were in the hold. Despite failing to find any suspicious evidence about the passengers or crew, Khalid Abu Bakar, Malaysia’s police chief, said he was confident that the case would be solved. He said police traced the mangosteens, a tangy Asian fruit with leathery skin around juicy white flesh, to an orchard in the city of Muar and examined both the farmers and the Chinese importers.” In physics, nature abhors a vacuum: in real life, humans hate an unsolved mystery.

Organizations: World Trade Center, National Post

Geographic location: New York, Malaysia, Muar

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Recent comments

  • Cashin Delaney
    April 08, 2014 - 04:13

    It is the love of money. The analogy holds as it is money/blood, not moneylove nor bloodlust Pollard speaks of, just money. Media are responsible along with government for tactically fostering a culture of disinterest by covering budgets like wet blankets on flaming turds; willfully boring the average joe away from it. The love of boredom may be the root of all evil. $8 per month paywall + wallowing in the muddy field of conspiracy theories = love of money? = future rebranding as... "The Evening Enquirer" After 135 years of declining business readership may as well corner the crackpot market. I'll help with the transition in any non-financial, non-boring way I can.

  • scliploon
    April 07, 2014 - 13:32

    You forgot JEERS to The Telegram for making us pay for Cheers & Jeers in the near future...(or do without!)