What’s behind all the bullying?

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Bullying is the hot topic, with politicians and experts pontificating. As usual when there is a hot topic, righteous platitudes and half-truths are uttered. In the matter of bullying, ultimately  the children will be victimized.

Politicians and educators have created a situation where just about any conduct can be called bullying, such as being deep in thought and not answering another child who says “Hi!”

What is wilfully ignored is that any child who claims to have a history of being bullied, or whose parents make that claim, usually has a deeper problem which makes it difficult for that child to get along with others. And instead of making an effort to discern that problem and deal with it, the troubled child is left to provoke situations which it can then interpret and report as being bullied.

But in the adult world one has to be able to get along with other people, to keep jobs, to have friends. Children who complain about being bullied, and who have parents that make such complaints, and who are not helped to examine those alleged incidents of bullying and their own attitudes so that they learn to make themselves more agreeable, are set up for severe problems and failure as adults.

Randy Lieb-Warmsworth

Ramea

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Recent comments

  • Herb Morrison
    October 19, 2012 - 10:46

    Well-said, Mr. Tizzard

  • Ron Tizzard
    October 19, 2012 - 08:02

    Randy Lieb-Warmsworth, I'm retired and come from a professional Clinical Therapy background...and, am forced to ask the question 'what have you been smoking of late' to suggest that the 'victim' of a 'bully' is the CAUSE of the occasion of being bullied! or to put your supposition more clearly...IT WAS THE BANK'S FAULT FOR BEING ROBBED BECAUSE IT WAS OPEN!..., or remain indoors and not venture outdoors...really; that the act of being outdoors is a PROVOCATION. I would suggest that a very simple definition of BULLYING is an unprovoked i.e. without cause, physical and/or verbal attack on another person, simply; there is no onus on any individual, in any instance, to interact with another, merely because they pass one another on a street. Randy, don't visit New York anytime soon, you'll be disappointed should you 'nod your head in regard' , let-alone say 'hello'. Randy, stop inhaling while you are painting or gluing, or whatever it is you are doing, or were doing before offering your words of wisdom....at least in this instance. I loosely agree with TWILL.DO.

  • some truth
    October 18, 2012 - 17:57

    There is some truth to this, I can recall getting cornered by three boys in the fifth grade and was hit in the face a couple of times for being fat. So I did what any fat kid would do three times their size, and beat their heads into one. I got suspended for 5 days and was given the "ignore it and walk away" lecture. That being said, this letter falls flat on its face with whatever point it was trying to make. Unless that point was "do your research before you call it bullying" .

  • Herb Morrison
    October 18, 2012 - 16:06

    Interesting how history repeats. For too many years when I was growing, and well into my adult years, when the issue of the abuse of women by their spouses was discussed, women, were told, by others, that it was their own fault that they were being victimized by an abusive. It is extremely disturbing to me that, as demonstrated by the contents of this letter, that the archaeic attitude that victims of abuse have done something to deserve the abuse being heaped on them is still exsits. Like spousal abuse, bullying is not justifiable. , rea

  • Twill.do
    October 18, 2012 - 07:35

    I think this letter lost all credibility when referencing some non-sensical example of a child's actions being considered bullying for not saying "Hi". While some children may have social integration issues, that is certainly not the only trigger for bullying, and is also not an excuse for bullying. I think it is a huge jump to make that because a child has been bullied or has reported being bullied that no steps have been taken to address any social problems they might have. I don't comment much on this site, but I found the need to after reading what I interpret as a placing of blame on the victims. Perhaps the real answer to the title of your letter "what's behind all the bullying" has nothing to do with the victims. Perhaps we should be looking at the home environment of the bullies to see what is causing these outlashes towards other children. This I think would be especially beneficial with younger children. I agree that the term bullying may be over used today, however it is still a very real problem, and it is unfair to place the victims at the root of it.