BRIAN JONES
The Telegram

They said, "Slow down! I see spots!"

The lines on the road just looked like dots.

- From "Hot Rod Lincoln," by Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen

The cops have apparently decided to start taking speeding seriously. "Police cracking down on speed demons," said a headline in Tuesday's Telegram.

On behalf of the handful of Newfoundland drivers who adhere to posted speed limits - or, at least, close enough to them to evade detection by radar guns - I'd just like to say thank you, and it's about time.

Judging from recent headlines, the police in this province have been more occupied with busting grow-ops than with enforcing the rules of the road.

As a parent and a taxpayer, I would prefer that the police spend more time ticketing dangerous drivers than nabbing marijuana entrepreneurs. Pot-pushers may be irritating, but the dangers they pose to kids are far less than those presented by the idiots who barrel through your neighbourhood at 70 km/h or hurl down the highway at 140 km/h.

Granted, it's more glamorous to be a drug-busting narc than a mere traffic cop, but the law-abiding, non-toking majority need more of the latter. So, ticket away, officers.

No enforcement

You see some strange things on the road. One of my favourites is the big Indian head alongside the Trans-Canada Highway at, appropriately enough, Indian Head, Sask.

On a trip last month, we got a laugh out of a large sign outside a church near Grand Falls - or was it Gander - that declared, "Sinning stops here!" With all the bad news swirling around various churches these days, the sign's declaration could be interpreted as being sarcastic, ironic or clue- less.

Another sign offered evidence of how officialdom's fondness for fudging facts has decimated clear language. It pointed down a side road and read, "Working Heritage Community," which, in the old days of plain speaking, would have been known as an "outport."

The provincial highway map says it is 708 kilometres from St. John's to Rocky Harbour. It took us about seven hours to get there, not including stops for snacks, gas or leg stretching. Across all that pavement, we passed exactly one vehicle - which was going uphill and pulling a trailer. On the return trip, we passed five or six vehicles. Hundreds of drivers passed us.

Mind you, we weren't doing anything to hold people up. We were going the speed limit.

Even so, other drivers zipped past us like bombs over Baghdad, leaving shock and awe in their wake. Most often, they didn't just sneak past because they were doing 105 km/h as opposed to our 100 km/h. Most of them zipped by, going 120 or 130 km/h.

Over the course of 1,416 km, we didn't see a single cop car, let alone a motorist who had been pulled over for speeding.

Shifting gears

Every year, about 3,000 Canadians are killed in traffic accidents. In the U.S., the number is about 40,000. To put this in perspective, consider this: every 18 months, more Americans die in traffic accidents than were killed in the Vietnam War.

A writer of a recent letter to the editor astutely pointed out that perhaps it's time everybody stopped referring to traffic "accidents," because usually there is nothing accidental about deadly collisions, and the blame can be put upon driver behaviour.

Police have consistently said speed and alcohol - either singly or in combination - cause the majority of deaths on the road.

As a society, we seem to finally have decided that driving while drunk is not acceptable. We need to become equally repulsed by people who habitually speed. They are selfish and utterly devoid of consideration for other people's safety.

Here's hoping the cops pass out plenty of speeding tickets. Officers, start your engines.

Brian Jones is a desk editor at The Telegram. He can be reached by e-mail at bjones@thetelegram.com.