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Wendy Rose: Lawnya Vawnya's Fake Prom was better than my actual prom

Drag Queen Irma Gerd introduces the 2018 Gender Neutral Prom King and Queen at Lawnya Vawnya's Fake Prom on Saturday, April 15. —Jacob Cherwick photo
Drag Queen Irma Gerd introduces the 2018 Gender Neutral Prom King and Queen at Lawnya Vawnya's Fake Prom on Saturday, April 15. —Jacob Cherwick photo - Submitted

There’s a new crop of graduates in the capital city today, as Lawnya Vawnya festivalgoers celebrated Fake Prom at The Rockhouse on Saturday, April 15.

The highly anticipated annual event draws inspiration from western film’s portrayal of the American homecoming tradition, and like most proms featured in films, Lawnya Vawnya’s Fake Prom was over the top, and absolutely amazing.

Entering the bar around 11 p.m., I was taken aback by the amazing atmosphere created by the Lawnya Vawnya team — Fake Prom was actually much more extravagant than my own prom.

White string lights wrapped around the bar’s columns, with “Congrats Grad” balloons adorning the staircases and railings.

A photo booth was set up in the corner of the bar, a cheesy lattice archway embellished with streamers and fairy lights. Attending sans prom date, I posed for a picture alone, recalling the hours of grad photos I endured back in 2009.

Just past the lineup for the photo booth, DJ Slaylist had the dance floor packed, playing catchy and well-known pop, rock, hip-hop, and R&B songs for the wild crowd.

Looking around the room, the amazing outfits were simply stunning. I couldn’t help but wonder about the origins of these get-ups, imagining the last place so-and-so wore that dress, or what occasion prompted that person to buy that suit.

Local band Thelma and Louise cut in on my fantasies, storming the stage in matching cheerleader uniforms. Chanting an improvised cheer from the 2000 film “Bring It On,” the four-piece band launched into the one hit wonder “Hey Mickey,” also featured in that blockbuster hit.

Playing a mix of classic pop songs and golden oldies, Thelma and Louise covered Nirvana, Peaches, Kylie Minogue, Jefferson Airplane, and more.
Signing off with “Seniors rule, freshman drool,” T&L left the stage amidst a roaring round of applause.

Local drag queen Irma Gerd returned to the stage, hyping up the crowd with her intense energy, as we anxiously awaited the announcement of the 2018 gender neutral Prom King and Prom Queen. Local artist Mike Gough took home the King’s crown, while Charlotte Reid, dressed up as a pregnant teen, won Prom Queen.

The Fake Prom royalty departed for the dance floor, making room for the Intergalactic Large Band (ILB), a conglomerate of local bands Property, Soap Opera, and Mary, Dear, plus members of the MUN Jazz Ensemble.

Opening with a Kanye West hit, the ILB then played a killer Prince cover, swiftly moving through a rockin’ set of popular pop songs, the multi-talented multi-instrumentalists switching spots throughout the set, swapping guitars for keyboards, trombones for mics, and more.

As the clock struck 2 a.m., the party was still raging, though I was not. Saying goodbye to pals in Thelma and Louise, I was told T&L would soon be storming the stage to pull a classic toilet paper prank on the Intergalactic Large Band.
I contemplated sticking around, somewhat inspired by the many women wearing heels much higher than mine.
That’s when it struck me — unlike an actual prom, there’s always next year.

See ya on the dance floor in 2019, grads.

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