“I say dishonest to have to live apart,” said Virtue, who was having a good day because of her husband, Douglas Parrell Sr.’s presence.
“I am not going to live apart. I reads the prayer book too much for that. The words I said to the minister, I am going to go by them.”
At times, she talked of them returning to the home they have back in Sandy Cove, a reality Douglas Sr. knows won’t happen because they can’t live on their own anymore.
What was certain was that Douglas Sr. would be going to his son’s home at the end of the day, and then back this weekend to the long-term care facility in Flower’s Cove where he is a Level 1 resident, while Virtue is in Level 3 at Glenbrook Lodge in St. John’s, a 10-hour drive away.
There he will wait for a phone call from Eastern Health long-term care placement, a call family say may never come in time.
“I am 88 year old and I am not going to live forever. I reads the prayer book enough I know I am not going to live forever,” said Virtue, who is calm with Douglas Sr. by her side — a sharp contrast, say family, to when he’s not there.
Family and NDP health critic Lorraine Michael have been lobbying Eastern Health to find a place at Glenbrook for Douglas, 86. Family say Virtue has dementia and her health is deteriorating because of the separation.
A Telegram story on the couple last month sparked immediate reader outrage, as well as coverage by other media outlets.
The Parrells’ son, Doug. Jr. and his wife, Virginia, say since they went public, they keep inquiring with placement workers at Eastern Health and there appears to be no change in Douglas Sr.’s status.
“You just feel like you are fighting a losing battle. It’s very frustrating. … We don’t foresee this ever happening,” Virginia said.
“Too bad our government don’t see the need to have at least one home in the province to accommodate spouses (at different levels of care).”
“Mom’s case is getting overlooked — they are not looking at it that her health is deteriorating,” said Doug. Jr.
“Where it’s been this long, I don’t think there’s anything ever going to come out of it.“
Michael said Health Minister Dr. John Haggie finally sent a reply to her request to meet with her about the Parrells’ situation and her requested review of Eastern Health long-term care policy when it comes to spouses.
“He’s not ready to question the policy,” she said, adding Haggie referred her to the people she has already been dealing with at Eastern Health.
“He did not accept a meeting with me.”
As for Eastern Health, Michael said it doesn’t seem like there’s any movement on policy for exceptional circumstances that could be used in Doug Sr.’s case.
“Everything else is ahead of him (on the waitlist) and there doesn’t seem to be any move to change that,” said Michael, who insists Virtue’s case and staff observations need to be listened to.
The Parrells have been married 58 years and had been together in the nursing home in Flower’s Cove. But Virtue was sent into St. John’s in spring 2015 for an assessment, spent some time in hospital and in the summer was placed in Glenbrook Lodge.
For Douglas Sr., who first went to work at age 13 in the woods and finished his work life with the former department of highways, the separation defies a marriage built on being a team.
“This is the longest time we’ve been apart since we been together,” he said. “I don’t see what’s going on.”
They married when Douglas Sr. was 27 and Virtue, 29 — a bit of a long wait to find a suitable spouse for people of their generation.
“We met to a time one night,” he said.
“I thought the world of him,” Virtue adds. “I had a good man and he had a good woman.”
Virginia Parrell said an offer was previously made by Eastern Health to put Douglas Sr. in Level 1 care somewhere in the metro area, but because of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), he wouldn’t physically be able to make continuous daily visits to see his wife at Glenbrook, nor would Virtue understand him coming during the day and then going away again.
They say Virtue gets upset when he leaves in the evening, not understanding why he can’t stay. According to the family, her medication then is increased to calm her. And when he goes back to Flower’s Cove, she will be continously asking for him and they will have to explain over and over why he’s not there.
The family also fears if Douglas Sr. got placed somewhere else in St. John’s, there would be zero incentive for the authorities to unite the couple in the same facility.
The Department of Health isn't budging.
A spokeswoman said Friday the department reviewed the spousal admission policy at long-term care facilities and determined the policy will remain the same.
Long-term care homes provide care and accommodation to individuals with high care needs (Level 3 and 4) who require 24-hour nursing care. Individuals with lower care needs (Level 1 and 2) who require residential care can access care in community-based settings, including personal care homes, the department said.
"In certain circumstances where one spouse requires long-term care and the other spouse has lower care needs, the regional health authorities work with the family to identify alternative options for consideration,” the department said in an emailed statement. "These options may include home care supports or placement in a nearby personal care home to facilitate daily visits."
“I say dishonest to have to live apart,” said Virtue, who was having a good day because of her husband, Douglas Parrell Sr.’s presence.
“I am not going to live apart. I reads the prayer book too much for that. The words I said to the minister, I am going to go by them.”
At times, she talked of them returning to the home they have back in Sandy Cove, a reality Douglas Sr. knows won’t happen because they can’t live on their own anymore.
What was certain was that Douglas Sr. would be going to his son’s home at the end of the day, and then back this weekend to the long-term care facility in Flower’s Cove where he is a Level 1 resident, while Virtue is in Level 3 at Glenbrook Lodge in St. John’s, a 10-hour drive away.
There he will wait for a phone call from Eastern Health long-term care placement, a call family say may never come in time.
“I am 88 year old and I am not going to live forever. I reads the prayer book enough I know I am not going to live forever,” said Virtue, who is calm with Douglas Sr. by her side — a sharp contrast, say family, to when he’s not there.
Family and NDP health critic Lorraine Michael have been lobbying Eastern Health to find a place at Glenbrook for Douglas, 86. Family say Virtue has dementia and her health is deteriorating because of the separation.
A Telegram story on the couple last month sparked immediate reader outrage, as well as coverage by other media outlets.
The Parrells’ son, Doug. Jr. and his wife, Virginia, say since they went public, they keep inquiring with placement workers at Eastern Health and there appears to be no change in Douglas Sr.’s status.
“You just feel like you are fighting a losing battle. It’s very frustrating. … We don’t foresee this ever happening,” Virginia said.
“Too bad our government don’t see the need to have at least one home in the province to accommodate spouses (at different levels of care).”
“Mom’s case is getting overlooked — they are not looking at it that her health is deteriorating,” said Doug. Jr.
“Where it’s been this long, I don’t think there’s anything ever going to come out of it.“
Michael said Health Minister Dr. John Haggie finally sent a reply to her request to meet with her about the Parrells’ situation and her requested review of Eastern Health long-term care policy when it comes to spouses.
“He’s not ready to question the policy,” she said, adding Haggie referred her to the people she has already been dealing with at Eastern Health.
“He did not accept a meeting with me.”
As for Eastern Health, Michael said it doesn’t seem like there’s any movement on policy for exceptional circumstances that could be used in Doug Sr.’s case.
“Everything else is ahead of him (on the waitlist) and there doesn’t seem to be any move to change that,” said Michael, who insists Virtue’s case and staff observations need to be listened to.
The Parrells have been married 58 years and had been together in the nursing home in Flower’s Cove. But Virtue was sent into St. John’s in spring 2015 for an assessment, spent some time in hospital and in the summer was placed in Glenbrook Lodge.
For Douglas Sr., who first went to work at age 13 in the woods and finished his work life with the former department of highways, the separation defies a marriage built on being a team.
“This is the longest time we’ve been apart since we been together,” he said. “I don’t see what’s going on.”
They married when Douglas Sr. was 27 and Virtue, 29 — a bit of a long wait to find a suitable spouse for people of their generation.
“We met to a time one night,” he said.
“I thought the world of him,” Virtue adds. “I had a good man and he had a good woman.”
Virginia Parrell said an offer was previously made by Eastern Health to put Douglas Sr. in Level 1 care somewhere in the metro area, but because of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), he wouldn’t physically be able to make continuous daily visits to see his wife at Glenbrook, nor would Virtue understand him coming during the day and then going away again.
They say Virtue gets upset when he leaves in the evening, not understanding why he can’t stay. According to the family, her medication then is increased to calm her. And when he goes back to Flower’s Cove, she will be continously asking for him and they will have to explain over and over why he’s not there.
The family also fears if Douglas Sr. got placed somewhere else in St. John’s, there would be zero incentive for the authorities to unite the couple in the same facility.
The Department of Health isn't budging.
A spokeswoman said Friday the department reviewed the spousal admission policy at long-term care facilities and determined the policy will remain the same.
Long-term care homes provide care and accommodation to individuals with high care needs (Level 3 and 4) who require 24-hour nursing care. Individuals with lower care needs (Level 1 and 2) who require residential care can access care in community-based settings, including personal care homes, the department said.
"In certain circumstances where one spouse requires long-term care and the other spouse has lower care needs, the regional health authorities work with the family to identify alternative options for consideration,” the department said in an emailed statement. "These options may include home care supports or placement in a nearby personal care home to facilitate daily visits."
