Cheers: to Rawlins roulette. So, the City of St. John’s is getting ready to go ahead with its plan to make big changes at the Rawlins Cross intersection: “By removing traffic signals and introducing new yield signs prior to entering the area, the goals of this pilot project are to improve safety, reduce delay and simplify Rawlins Cross.” Fair enough. But the city’s also saying, “All commuters in the area are asked to be patient, attentive and obey the new road signs and markings.” Patient and attentive? When’s the last time that was obeyed as rules of the road in this fair city? Next thing you know, they’ll be asking for polite.
Jeers: to bow WOW. In the public relations purgatory that is the modern newsroom, we get all sorts of electronic news releases begging for our attention. And sometimes, lying down and rolling over for it, too. Take this gem: “Want your dog photos to be a hit on social media? Here are five tips.” OK — here they are: pay attention to your background, be “creative and playful,” “think fashion,” shoot pictures in “burst mode,” and “zoom in.” But why do it at all, you ask? “Besides the ‘awww!’ factor that adorable dogs attract, all the posting about your lovable four-legged animal can create more awareness of you and expand your social network.” And don’t forget, “The dog pictures, with or without you, provide a positive reflection of you and create good engagement on social media. That can start fun conversation, friendships, and bring opportunities.” Next week? Selling your children for fun and profit.
Jeers: to having too much money and too little sense. While we’re still on the news release front, have you got US$145 million burning a hole in your pocket? A French marriage proposal planner (there are such things?) sent us a news release promising a brave new world for 2022. “The ApoteoSurprise agency, a French marriage proposal planner specialized in creating extravagant proposals, introduces a whole new service for 145 million dollars which will allow 21st century handsome princes to propose while flying around the Moon. Reaching for the Moon in the name of love is about to become a reality, the ultimate goal of the Paris-based agency being to ‘stage the craziest and most outstanding marriage proposal of the last 13.8 billion years.’” Not really sure how this is supposed to be any kind of surprise: you and the prospective partner need to take 12 weeks of technical and physical training before you’re even fit for liftoff. Really want to give someone a surprise? Write out that US$145 million cheque to “Editorial Page Editor, The Telegram” and slip it in a plain brown envelope…
