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JILL ELLSWORTH: New year, new you? Important to be kind to yourself

When setting goals for 2021, it's important to be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that change doesn't happen overnight, writes columnist Jill Ellsworth.
When setting goals for 2021, it's important to be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that change doesn't happen overnight, writes columnist Jill Ellsworth.

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As we near the middle of January, starting to feel the distance from 2020 grow larger and larger, it’s time to check in on those fresh new year’s resolutions.

While I like a symbolic fresh start as much as the next person, it’s important to keep a few things in mind when setting and monitoring these goals. If you’ve set resolutions this year, I hope you’ll keep the following information in mind for a happy and healthy 2021.

As most of us know, things can’t change overnight. But often the pressure of new year’s resolutions puts the pesky misconception in our mind that they should.

Goals, no matter how small, take hard work. Undoubtedly, there will be challenges and slip-ups, but that’s no reason to throw away your resolutions. If you’re a “make it or break it” type of goal-setter who finds yourself tempted to give up after one mistake, perhaps new year’s resolutions aren’t the right tactic for you.

Often, resolutions are tied to weight loss, and while getting healthier is a great goal, we have to be careful about how things are framed in our minds. The bodies we have today are the bodies that protected us through a pandemic. 2020 has been one of the most stressful years we have collectively experienced as a society, so try not to be hard on the body that carried you through it. Instead of focusing on weight or physical appearance, try to shift to a mindset of getting healthier to protect your body and thank it for all it has done.

A simple shift in phrasing can make a huge difference in goal motivation and success. For example, instead of saying, “I want to lose 20 pounds and then I’ll like my body,” try, “This year I’ll change my habits because I want and deserve to be healthy.”

Find the phrasing that works for you. Some folks will feel more motivated by a specific goal such as spending 30 minutes outside each day, while others will feel more comfortable with a flexible goal, like spending more time outside this year. If setting targeted goals is helpful to you, that’s perfectly fine, as long as you’re not locking yourself in and feeling like a failure for one missed day.

Another helpful trick can is to focus on the process instead of the outcome. If you find enjoyment in spending time outside and clearing your mind, it will be a lot easier for you to continue the practice. If you see it as a chore, you may be more likely to abandon your goal midway through the year.

Most importantly, don’t use your resolution as a way to focus on the negative. While change is great and exciting, goal setting should be used to bring more positivity into your life.

This year, my goals include reading and writing more, spending more time with friends, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I hope the goals you set bring you happiness this year!


Jill Ellsworth is a writer and communications specialist who lives in Dominion, N.S. Her column appears biweekly across the Saltwire Network. She can be reached at [email protected].

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