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KEELYWOOD: What’s happening in Hollywood? Summer of love and drama

Rihanna. - Reuters

If you thought I was about to just talk about Ariana Grande’s ponytail for 500 words, then (you peeked into my drafts folder) you’re wrong! Things are getting CRAZY in Hollywood and I’m not just talking about people doing juice cleanses when they have healthy livers that cost $0. 

Ashton Kutcher is testifying in a murder trial. Way back in 2000 when I had the body type of a baked potato, Ashton was dating a woman named Ashley Ellerin. Ashton knocked on her door to pick her up for a date and she didn’t answer. He peeked in the window, noticed some spilled red wine on the floor, but no sign of Ashley and assumed she ditched him because he was so late. Turns out she’d been murdered and that wasn’t red wine. I hope the jurors can focus on the trial and not the fact that Ashton grew out a mustache for the occasion.

Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner (no relation to me) got married… again. The couple originally got married in Vegas, but Diplo isn’t hip to wedding etiquette and he livestreamed the entire thing. The new nuptials happened in France and were way more private. Although there are enough paparazzi pictures that they might as well have live-streamed it. The best part of the leaked photos was proof that their dogs wore tuxedo T-shirts.

Shay Mitchell is pregnant! She announced the pregnancy with an Instagram shot showcasing her baby bump (I have a pasta and goat cheese bump) with the caption, “Does this mean I’m allowed to drive in the carpool lane at all times now?”

Rihanna is dating a billionaire. The pair have actually been linked for a couple of years now, but they’re fairly private. Saudi businessman, Hassan Jameel won her over with his money charm. Honestly Rihanna is the world’s richest female musician, so she wants for nothing tangible and I’m glad that after the Chris Brown drama and the Drake back and forth, she’s found a MAN to share her life with. I just wish he’d also share some of his money with me because I’m poor.

Taylor Swift both squashed her beef with Katy Perry AND released new music. Things aren’t all sunshine and rainbows for Taylor though – Scooter Braun purchased her former music catalogue in a $300-million-plus deal. Taylor turned to Tumblr claiming Scooter had bullied her and was behind some of her biggest PR nightmares. Scooter’s wife and his client, Justin Bieber, have both since come to his defence.

Vanderpump Rules stars Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright, got married on Saturday, June 29, in Kentucky. Jax is one of the most garbage reality TV stars around and it was uncovered that he had cheated on Brittany AND been secretly recorded bad-mouthing her. I wonder if that was in their vows? Regardless of their past, people make mistakes, people change, and we all wish them a lifetime of happiness and great beer cheese sales (they started a beer cheese company and I’m considering investing).

There’s probably more happening in Hollywood but I’m too obsessed with Love Island to glance away from my television for more than 90-second intervals.

Keely Turner takes a look at pop culture through the eyes of a P.E.I. girl with a big city attitude. Keely lives in Toronto, working as a fitness trainer and writer, with her husband and beagle. You can find her on Instagram @KeelyMTurner


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