In March I wondered how many books I could finish during the period of time when I was staying at home. Surely I would have more time to read, to really enjoy the small things life has to offer.
A chance to relax more, even forced, was a silver lining of this hard time, I thought.
I have finished one book since March.
I can’t even count how many I have picked up and read a few chapters of, only to abandon after a few days or weeks, unfinished.
This isn’t a phenomenon only experienced by myself. It’s been noted by many people this year, and has its roots in how the brain deals with anxiety and uncertainty. Still, knowing it’s common doesn’t help when my usual avenue for self-soothing is letting me down. If I can’t rely on books to get me through, what can I rely on? My job as a Librarian has always been a calling for me. Was I a fraud if I couldn’t even finish one book?
Being able to go back in to the library felt like a gift when the time came. It was an emotional homecoming, and I am not ashamed to say that I teared up the first time I walked through the stacks- an experience I’ve heard was shared by many patrons when we reopened our doors. Everything had felt so strange for months that just seeing all of the books exactly where I had left them was a kind of comfort I couldn’t have predicted.
So, I brought home books, determined to finish one. Everything was a distraction. My attention span felt so small, and the news so big. I neglected reading in favour of playing games on my phone or watching TV, or a myriad of other things that helped me forget for even a few moments that we are living through “unprecedented times.”
I returned the books I had checked out, unread, guilty reminders that my status as a bookworm had been revoked.
Even so, I checked out more books. I put my phone down more. When I had time to read, I read instead of distracting myself with something else.
I downloaded an audiobook and listened to it while rocking my daughter to sleep. Little by little, the joys of reading returned to me.
In October, after six months, I finally finished a book.
It is such a small thing, but it felt like such a triumph after so long without that which had been my constant friend since childhood. The book in question was a fantasy novel — more proof that escapist reading is always important, and maybe more so when that escape is sorely needed.
Much has been made of the importance of escapist reading during stressful times. A book can be portal to another time and place, something to escape with and forget about the stresses of the day, even if just for a few pages.
People can have different types of escapist books. For me it is fantasy novels like “House of Earth and Blood,” by Sarah J. Maas (the book that broke my reading slump), or a romance like “Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake,” by Sarah MacLean. For others, it’s a good Christmas romance like “The Royal Holiday,” by Jasmine Guillory, or a cozy mystery like “Aunt Dimity’s Death,” by Nancy Atherton. For some of my friends, the ultimate escapist reading is True Crime.
Whatever your comfort read is, don’t neglect it right now. Don’t be hard on yourself about your book choices. Things are hard enough. There’s always going to be something for you at the library that will give you that feeling of an escape while you’re reading it. Browse our catalogue or check out our Digital Library at nlpl.ca and see what’s waiting to whisk you away to another world.
This isn’t a story of how I overcame my reading block.
It’s still hard to set everything aside and pick up a book sometimes. But returning to the library helped that part of me come back to life after a long winter.
And if you’re having trouble reading, you aren’t alone. But know that when you’re ready, the library will be there, waiting with open stacks.
Emily Blackmore is the Collections and Social Media Librarian for the Newfoundland and Labrador Public Libraries.