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KEELYWOOD: Lady Gaga's 'a goddess': Waitress-turned-comedian ranks Hollywood elite

Lady Gaga, pictured here at the MET Gala in 2019, ranks very highly among celebrities who visited an L.A. restaurant, according to a waitress-turned-comedian who has launched a TikTok series sharing her experiences rubbing elbows with the Hollywood elite. REUTERS/Andrew Kelly/File Photo
Lady Gaga, pictured here at the MET Gala in 2019, ranks very highly among celebrities who visited an L.A. restaurant, according to a waitress-turned-comedian who has launched a TikTok series sharing her experiences rubbing elbows with the Hollywood elite. REUTERS/Andrew Kelly/File Photo

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I wish it was my experience with Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling that I was sharing with you, but the only celebrity I’ve met recently is a dog with 273,000 Instagram followers.

In case you’re curious, the famous pooch was @DeanTheBasset and he was charming, effervescent, and carried himself with pure class – 700 liver treats/10.

Since my celebrity sightings are rare or nonexistent, I thought I’d defer to an expert today. Annie Bond is a comedian and actress who was a waitress at a popular LA restaurant for five years. Annie took to TikTok to rate her experiences with various famous people and I took to Atlantic Canadian newspapers to share this golden information with people who, like me, do not have the patience for TikTok.

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes: “So casual, so gorgeous, so polite! 11/10. I want to be in their marriage.”

Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow: “I wanted to like them but they were SO RUDE and maybe having a bad day? 1/10”

This isn’t the first time Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow have gotten a bad review from a waiter. Back in 2019, Page Six reported that Judd and Leslie got into a screaming fight outside of the restaurant Katsuya. A source said Leslie was furiously yelling at Judd and slammed the door behind her when she got into their car. To give them the benefit of the doubt, everyone fights, and most of us don’t know what it feels like to slam the door of a luxury vehicle – maybe it feels really good! I would have to do a cost-benefit analysis before releasing my rage like that and, right now, my financials only let me slam my fridge a bit when I’m mad there aren’t better snacks inside.

Lady GaGa: “She remembered everybody’s name, she’s extremely nice and she’s a goddess. 5 million/10”

Anna Farris: “The kindest, most wonderful person alive. I wish she was my best friend. 20/10”

Keanu Reeves: “Orders a dozen oysters for himself like it’s a casual thing to do. He was so polite, so humble. He paid the whole bill, tipped super well! Red pill/10. 100 per cent would die for Keanu Reeves.”

Drew Barrymore: “She came in for like a week straight. She was pregnant, always in a hurry but always super nice about it! Was just like a ray of sunshine and bubbles for my day. I adore her. 1,000/10."

Drake: “He has sooo many security guards. Which is fine, protect yourself! He drank rosé on ice, he ate a kale salad. He was fine. 6/10.”

And that was only my summary of parts one and two - find @TheAnnieBond on TikTok for parts three through 10 (and potentially more to come). Imagine having been around enough celebrities to make a 10-part series – surely some of their clear skin, wealth, and waist to hip ratio must rub off on innocent bystanders?


Keely Turner takes a look at pop culture through the eyes of a PEI girl with a big city attitude. Keely lives in Toronto, working as a fitness trainer and writer, with her husband and beagle. You can find her on Instagram @KeelyMTurner

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