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Janice Wells: Halloween heads to my house

A ghostly flutter is par for the course on Halloween. A gory greeting also works wonders for a friendly fright.
A ghostly flutter is par for the course on Halloween. A gory greeting also works wonders for a friendly fright. - Contributed

The other day I was driving along and passed a house decorated OTT for Halloween (“over the top” for those of you not as cool as I am).

You know what I just did when I wrote that word? I wrote it with a small “h”. That exposes that I am not really cool at all. Of course spell check corrected me, but I’m sure that was not a capitalized holiday back in the olden days.

Anyway, my head whipped around as I went past this house, and I might have qualified as a distracted driver but thankfully I didn’t cause an accident.

There were cars behind me and I didn’t slow down so I couldn’t tell you now what exactly the decorations were even if they were fascinating. There were a lot of the usual suspects I’m sure, but the extreme decorations themselves weren’t why I did my Linda Blair from The Exorcist imitation. It was the fact that they were up on the first of October.

Yesterday Daughter #2 announced with some pleasure that they had all their Halloween decorations up. She doesn’t even pretend that she does it for her five-year-old; she loves it just as much as he does.

I assumed that there were children living in that house and I did sort of think how sweet their parents were to let them have so much fun, and that they probably even helped them. Plus children couldn’t have paid for all those decorations. I personally couldn’t imagine forking out a lot of money for Halloween decorations, especially as they’d only be up for a couple of days.

Ha! Yesterday Daughter #2 announced with some pleasure that they had all their Halloween decorations up. She doesn’t even pretend that she does it for her five-year-old; she loves it just as much as he does.

“You don’t mean outside.” I said. She lives on a hill with three flights of steps and no trick or treater has ever darkened her door. Grandson starts trick or treating at our house and goes around our nice flat neighbourhood with houses close together. Doesn’t matter; Halloween has arrived at their house.

Then I joked “it would make more sense for you to decorate my house.” Quicker than I could say “but not yet” the plans were being made. I was dispatched to the Dollar Store; grandson was coming here after school, both daughters were ready to go.

Ready to go? Daughter #1 actually showed up at the Dollar Store. Obviously I couldn’t be counted on to get the best stuff. She was right. If only I’d made it to the checkout before she got there I would have saved a few dollars.

I have shrubs along my front path. My idea of great (and cheap) Halloween decorating is to get lots of that spider web stuff and drape all the shrubs. I think a shrub spider-web tunnel would be quite effective. Ha. Mere child’s play, or should I say mere grandmother’s play.

So here I am, with a ghost flying in the breeze, owl skeletons perched on my chairs, eye balls and skulls, a bloody hand and cobwebs everywhere, just some of the uplifting things that will greet me every time I come into my house for the next four weeks.

If of course it doesn’t all blow away. I have no idea why they seem confident that it won’t (They’re certainly old enough to know better. Ha ha) but if you live in my neighbourhood and find a tombstone in your yard some morning check and see if it has my name on it. Ha ha again.

Newman will be surprised I thought. One “ha” this time. He didn’t bat an eyelash. (That reminds me, we have no bats ergo you cannot say I am batty even if my house is decorated for Halloween earlier than I decorate it for Christmas.)

Newman had just come from his son’s place of work where the main work being done was preparation for the big Halloween party.

The big kids are worse than the little kids.

Janice Wells lives in St. John’s. She can be reached at janicew@nf.sympatico.ca.

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