Editor's note: On March 8, we celebrate International Women's Day. In the week leading up to it, SaltWire Network is sharing stories, written entirely by women, that focus on this year’s theme: "A challenged world is an alert world, and from challenge comes change." Each day, we will tackle a different subject area as we celebrate women's achievements, raise awareness, and encourage our readers to take action towards equality.
When the pandemic hit last year, Alessandra Nadudvari’s world was turned upside down.
Being self-employed, Nadudvari already worked from home, but she suddenly had to manage her son’s online learning. Other than her husband, she had no relatives in the province to help out.
The combination of working and taking care of a child time was overwhelming, says the Bridgewater, N.S. woman. During the day, she tried to be calm and organized but would wake up at night with anxiety and not be able to go back to sleep. She struggled with feelings of not being enough.
“As a mother, everyone comes to me for emotional comfort. How could I give it, though, when I was feeling exhausted?” she wondered.
Every day was a challenge, says Nadudvari. It was simply too much to do office work from home, cook three meals and make two snacks every day, wash dishes, clean the house, spend meaningful time with her child, teach him, and somehow also care for her physical, mental, and emotional health.
“I don't think human beings were designed for this,” she says. “You can either be a stay-at-home mom or an office worker, but not both within the same space.”
International Women's Day 2021: Building an equal future in Atlantic Canada
Pandemic mental health impact
Nadudvari is not alone in her feelings. Over the past year, COVID-19 wreaked havoc on women’s mental health, whether we acknowledge it or not.
There is no doubt that the mental health impacts on women are being felt at home and in the workplace, says Dr. Tammy Findlay, associate professor and chair of the department of political and Canadian studies at Mount Saint Vincent University in Halifax, N.S.
The pressures of multi-tasking - simultaneously working from home, helping children learn at home, and keeping the household running - are certainly taking their toll.
For those who have lost jobs because of the pandemic, there is the added stress and anxiety of economic insecurity, with worries about emergency benefits falling short or running out and the prospects of finding new employment during a public health and economic crisis.
"We know labour market participation for women, in particular, has been severely affected," says Findlay.
For example, many women had to move their business to the back burner to homeschool their children last spring, says Jacqueline Steudler of Healing For Grieving Hearts in Halifax, N.S.
Caregiving professions, which are female-dominated and racialized, already had high levels of stress, which is exacerbated as protocols and threats around health and safety in the workplace have ramped up, adds Findlay.
"Women have borne most of the job losses in the pandemic, and that has serious effects for mental health and wellbeing," says Jane Ledwell, executive director for the P.E.I. Advisory Council on the Status of Women.
Women who are still working are often in front-line roles that continue to put them at greater risk of exposure to disease. Women who live in fear of violence or who live with violence at home are facing narrower ranges of choices and feel a sense of despair.
"Women's disproportionate share of work in the home, especially caregiving work, is mentally and emotionally exhausting, especially if loved ones are struggling with anxiety and worry, anguish and despair," explains Ledwell.
To add this is the stress of winter, which can be difficult for mental health for many reasons, says Ledwell.
"It is stressful balancing work and family relationships when sick days and storm days could both keep you away from paid work or keep you in the house," she says.
The unnerving prospect of longer lockdowns and at-home learning for students is always on the horizon. It's the right public health response to an outbreak, but the possibility leaves many women feeling a constant sense of anxiety and stress, says Ledwell.
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Physical manifestations of stress
These stress symptoms manifest themselves as sleeplessness, fatigue, and exhaustion, says Steudler. Women feel on edge.
For many, planning and organizing isn't easy at the best of times, but the uncertainty makes it more challenging to have a regular life, especially with children, she says.
"Some of the women I work with tell me that they are short-tempered when they are in a grocery store, and someone doesn't follow the arrows or isn't distancing," says Steudler. "For them, that person who bends the rules a bit can significantly impact their lives and a future lockdown. It's in those moments when they feel that not everything is OK."
On top of that, women are craving connections. Interactions with social circles have changed or moved online. Steudler says she feels feel tired at the thought of having one more online call. She’s craving an in-person exchange and connection with friends.
Many with caregiving responsibilities are keeping their social circles extra small to help make space for children or elders to meet their social needs, says Ledwell.
“Self-sacrifice is a deeply ingrained gender norm for women, but at this stage, a lot of women I know are failing to meet their social needs and are feeling lonely and isolated and becoming depressed,” says Ledwell.
"Limiting social interactions to the people you have responsibilities towards - those we care for and those we work for - leaves very few supports," Ledwell adds. "Families rely on the resilience and mental wellbeing of caregivers to keep us all buoyed up."
The closure of the Atlantic bubble has been hard for many families, says Ledwell.
"We are so close-knit across the provincial borders in Atlantic Canada and are missing births and deaths and milestones we would usually celebrate together. It is wearying," she says.
Steudler agrees, adding that those missed connections are having a major impact on women's mental health.
“The possibility to rally around our grieving friends, supporting them with taking on chores or taking the kids for a few hours, has disappeared. It's helplessness on both sides that is prevalent,” says Steudler.
Grief and stress, says Steudler, can come from loss - not just of a loved one, but from having lost a job, social connections, and a sense of security. Some have lost the drive to plan for the future because of the uncertainty.
Consequences of stress
Research indicates that levels of depression have been on the rise since the pandemic, says Findlay, as well as higher levels of alcohol consumption among women.
Not only are there higher rates of gender-based violence during COVID-19, but there are also distinct challenges accessing support services, she says.
Compounding this is that women feel they don't have the right to feel their own anxiety, stress, and grief, especially when looking to other parts of the world that have dealt with heavy restrictions much longer than Atlantic Canada, says Ledwell.
“We have been so fortunate in this whole region to have few cases of COVID-19 and to have the privilege of living somewhat normally, but it's still hard,” says Ledwell.
She urges women to acknowledge they have the right to their feelings.
“If we don't allow ourselves to feel our feelings, the long-term harm could be serious,” she says.
Steudler encourages women to do things to help relax their minds, like mindfulness, meditation, breathing exercises, and artmaking.
"We need to practice self-care, connect with others, go for walks, and seek help if feeling disconnected," she says.
Being more creative in self-care is important, she says.
“If we don't allow ourselves to feel our feelings, the long-term harm could be serious." — Jane Ledwell
That's exactly what Nadudvari says has been getting her through the year. Not only did she practice yoga, meditation, and breathing techniques, but she found a few books that helped her understand the philosophy of what was happening in the world.
As a community, we must also help each other during these stressful times, says Steudler.
She offers tips, like checking in with friends and family members that you know are struggling. A small gesture of bringing a meal, taking their kids for an hour to a park (if possible), or sending a card of encouragement can make a big difference.
"Listen with an open heart and don't judge their feelings," says Steudler.
Nadudvari says she found being of service to others helpful. She reached out to friends and family, and although most wanted company, which wasn’t always possible, they had long conversations that brought them closer together and even generated humour.
"Being able to laugh with people who care about me and whom I care about dissolved a lot of the blues," she says.
In Nadudvari’s smother tongue, Slovak, she says they have a saying that "every evil is good for something."
In this case, the pandemic has caused people to realize how interdependent they are. She hopes that bodes well for friendships and families - and helps reduce our stress.
