As certain a tradition as Santa and his reindeer rising into the sky on Christmas Eve to deliver gifts all over the world, Cape Breton-Canso MP Rodger Cuzner rose in the House of Commons on Wednesday to deliver his annual holiday poem.
The longtime Liberal MP — whose poems are so popular he earned a standing ovation even before his reading began — delivered his 2018 version of Twas the Night Before Christmas yesterday afternoon ahead of Question Period.
A whimsical blend of roast, toast and inside jokes, the poem was a dressing down of the opposition parties, as well as of Ontario Premier Doug Ford, who Cuzner mistakenly calls Rob, the premier's late brother.
Read the whole poem below or, better yet, watch the video.
'Twas the week before Christmas and our last week in this place,
So here's one final ditty, before they walk out the mace;
Let me ask your indulgence and suggest that we pause,
To see what's in those letters to our dear Santa Claus.
The opposition leader asked Santa for a fresh ride,
A new Ford family wagon, he'd drive it with pride;
But to get something so bloated, the chances are slim,
And from early indications, it seems Ford is driving him.
Gift-wrapped surprises are now sheer delights.
Like when Rob Ford said “Au revoir” to francophone rights.
He'll ask Santa for groceries is everyone's hunch
Because the member from Beauce, has been out eating his lunch.
The NDP letter provides a bit of a twist,
A victory in Burnaby is not on their list;
And in Quebec where Bloc support has gone right through the floor,
They're just beggin' old Santa to be relevant once more.
What's in the PM's letter, you need not ask twice;
It's peace, hope and justice, and a pipeline would be nice.
And my ask from Santa doesn't have to be seen;
It's four more years of good government, starting 2019!
