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EDITORIAL Cheers and Jeers for July 8

Jeers: to forgetting. The provincial government didn’t forget to do its homework. It didn’t forget to bring its lunch. It didn’t forget to put the garbage out on the right day. It didn’t forget that it was pajama dress-up day. No, it forgot that there was a deadline after which it would be impossible to cap wetlands underneath what will be the Muskrat Falls reservoir so that 13 hectares of wetland wouldn’t add methylmercury to the reservoir. By the time cabinet got around to trying to make a decision, it was already too late. Well, that certainly isn’t anyone’s finest hour.

Cheers: to at least trying to do something effective. A new Swiss study suggests the most effective way to mitigate the effects of climate change is to plant trees. Lots of trees. A trillion trees, in fact — primarily because trees trap CO2. Now, the study suggests the trees would cover an area equivalent to the entire United States. The scientist put it like this: “Excluding existing trees and agricultural and urban areas, we found that there is room for an extra 0.9 billion hectares of canopy cover, which could store 205 gigatonnes of carbon in areas that would naturally support woodlands and forests.” You could just say, “Hey kids: let’s help by planting some trees.” (In other weather news, Anchorage, Alaska was the hottest it has ever been at the end of last week, and the Acropolis in Athens was closed as summer heat continues at around 10 degrees over usual summer temperatures.)

Cheers: to a bellyful. So competitive eater Joey Chestnut ate 71 hotdogs (with buns) at the Nathan’s Famous annual July 4th hot dog eating contest. It was worth US$10,000 in prize money. Chestnut holds the record for eating 74 in 2018. Some other records from the Major League Eating website? Well, Chestnut also holds the record for deep-fried asparagus (12 pounds, 8.75 ounces in 10 minutes), boiled eggs (141 in eight minutes) and glazed donuts (55 in eight minutes) — not to mention 53 Taco Bell soft tacos in 10 minutes and 45 pulled pork sandwiches in 10 minutes, among others. Anyone want to try for the butter record? It’s seven quarter-pound sticks in five minutes. And two that might be popular in this province? Don Lerman’s record of 2.76 pounds of bologna in six minutes, and Patrick Bertoletti’s record of 10.63 pounds of corned beef and cabbage in 10 minutes. OK, we’re stopping now. We’re feeling a little sick. Oh wait – how about Richard “the Locust” LeFevre’s six pounds of Spam from the can in 12 minutes? (There is a Vienna Sausage record, too: 8.31 pounds in 10 minutes. OK – we really are done.) But. … 57 cow’s brains (17.7 pounds) in 15 minutes?

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