Jeers: to idiots and their toys. For days leading up to Christmas, thousands of air passengers saw their flights disrupted by someone flying drones inside airspace at Britain’s second-busiest airport. Flights were grounded at Gatwick for almost two days, while police and military officials determined how to deal with the dangers posed by the risk of aircraft hitting what are being described as larger “industrial specification” drones. Just imagine being stuck in an airport for days because of that sort of foolishness. Then imagine it with small children in tow. If the police catch those involved, they should probably jail them — if for no other reason than for their own safety.
Cheers: to a healthy plate of word salad. Nothing beats a good serving of poltico-speak, does it? Here’s the provincial government explanation of funding athletes: “The Athletic Excellence Fund delivers on commitments in The Way Forward to deliver better services and better outcomes for residents. It is one example of the Provincial Government’s focus on realizing a number of healthy living targets to help achieve a healthier tomorrow.” It’s almost time for us all to make a few New Year’s resolutions to realize some healthy living targets to help achieve a healthier tomorrow. Or something.
Cheers: to knowing your geography. The people at Kafe Rocks claim to have outlined the top cities for casino gambling in the world, and in fourth place is — Toronto. “Experts at Kafe Rocks have released the Ultimate Casino Capital Ranking to uncover gambling havens around the globe and help holidaymakers place their bets on the destination best for them,” the Kafe Rocks news release says. “(With) such vast numbers of casinos and destinations to choose from, it’s important to make sense of the bright lights and big numbers before booking your ideal getaway. At Kafe Rocks, our mission is to guide gamblers and bring transparency to the industry where it’s needed.” One problem though? Toronto is listed as having six casinos, the biggest one being the Niagara Fallsview Casino Resort — which is actually 128.2 kilometres away in Niagara Falls. Toronto doesn’t actually have a downtown casino, though it does have slot machines at the Woodbine racetrack. Guess that fourth-place ranking is in jeopardy.
Cheers: to originality. Earlier this month, a Missouri judge ordered a convicted deer poacher to watch the Walt Disney movie “Bambi” at least once a month for the entirety of his one-year prison sentence. The whole thing. Including the scene where Bambi’s mother … oh well, watch it if you don’t know. But just imagine what would happen if judges let their imaginations run free during sentencing. Shoplifters would be sentenced to watch hours of mind-numbing shopping surveillance videos. Parcel thieves would have to spend days sorting boxes. Red-light runners would have to work as crossing guards. Litterbugs would be working highway ditches … the mind boggles.