There’s a chill in the air — and it isn’t a harbinger of fall. Over the past week, my social media has been filling up with posts wishing teachers well as they head back to school this week in anticipation of the official reopening next week.
These aren’t new. Every end of August is presaged by such posts for teacher friends and colleagues.
This year, though, it feels very different.
Over the summer, as various restrictions have been lifted, similar reminders have come forth. Be kind to staff. Be kind to other people. Be kind to each other.
I grew up with the Golden Rule – do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Being kind is the right thing to do. It’s about being decent, being civil, and being respectful in how you show you disagree with someone else.
More and more though I think that idea has fallen off the rails. I barely look at some of my social media feeds these days because it is a constant barrage of hate and anger.
There’s nothing wrong with anger, the righteous sort fueling social change, but there is something very wrong about an ugly anger that is fueling hate, division and meanness.
A friend posts a news story, and notes for others not to bother reading the comments. Multiple news outlets have cancelled the posting of comments in fact because the investment of human resources to manage the trolls, the threats and the utterly vile sexist, racist, homophobic commentary is too great for the value of what is left.
Then there are the videos. You know the ones: someone is in a supermarket, a department store, a restaurant, a sidewalk – it really doesn’t matter anymore – and the individual filmed is spewing a torrent of verbal garbage on whatever topic that has enraged them.
The first time I saw one of those videos, I wondered if that person even knew what they looked like? Would they have the grace to feel ashamed, embarrassed even? How do their families, friends, work colleagues feel?
My biggest concern is that the lack of civility and the absence of decency we are seeing online and in person speak to the erosion of important values like respect, dignity, empathy.
It occurred to me that the relatively anonymous environment of the Internet has insulated us from the consequences of our actions. In the early days of the Internet, we would see flame wars erupt, where people would get into passionate and many times explosive debates on news and chat groups that would end with hurt feelings and exits (self managed and group created).
Most times people didn't live in the same city, much less the same country so people felt free to say whatever they felt, without filter, behind online identities like wifesaver, clubguy, sadmom, happyfurpop, teacherspet, bookworm08, etc.
As a famous New Yorker cartoon illustrated with two dogs at a computer said so insightfully, “On the Internet no one knows you are a dog.”
These days, it doesn’t matter if you use your real name or not. I think the wall between the Internet and the real world has dissolved, the way the fourth wall in theatre can disappear when the actors wish to address the audience.
I wouldn't want to be the person moderating comments on new stories. It’s draining enough to see the nastiness that makes it through the filters. My biggest concern is that the lack of civility and the absence of decency we are seeing online and in person speak to the erosion of important values like respect, dignity, empathy.
This isn't about being on the right side or the wrong side. I’ve seen people with positions I agree with behaving just as badly as those with whom I would not be able to break bread because their values and ideas are so antithetical to mine.
A good friend of mine often told me we don't have to attend every argument we’ve been invited to. So true, but if we choose to accept, let’s be sure we engage with dignity.
Martha Muzychka is a St. John’s-based writer. Email: [email protected]
